I can barely type the words "self control", because I feel as if I don't have any.
This weekend I went camping for the first time with my family. I had camped before but not with the dear husband and kids. It was great! It was relaxing and stress free. My brother and his wife just bought a beautiful trailer and it was a pleasure to stay in. I even packed healthy snacks - carrots, cucumber, celery, 100 calorie packs, baked tostitos. Unfortnately, as you will see from my food journal, not nearly enough!
I would love to know what mechanism in my brain/body is broken....the mechansim that tells you to STOP. I would love to fix it. On one hand, I know the tips to maintain restraint such as always eat breakfast (I didn't), keep enough fruits and veggies around (I didn't), drink plenty of water (I didn't). So, I suppose with that the mechansim that may be broken is planning and journaling. I think if I had a written plan and had journaled as I ate, things may have went better. But maybe not. I have to find a new way.
What I need is for someone with a bull horn to follow me around. Then, once I reach a serving size on anything that person could blare the bull horn: STEP AWAY FROM THE SNACK MIX....REPEAT....STEP AWAY FROM THE SNACK MIX. Of course, that person might need a second strategy if I don't comply.
Maybe a tazer.
Food for Saturday the 29th and Sunday the 30th
Breakfast
Nothing (bad, very bad)
Snack
Veggies
Baked tostitos
Hummus
Lunch
Cheeseburger
Birthday cake
Snack
100 calorie pack
100 calorie pack
100 calorie pack
100 calorie pack
Hostess cupcake
(yes, that is not a typo....four 100 calorie packs)
Supper
½ brat
10 shrimp
2 smores
5 marshamallows (not nearly as bad as I thought they would be)
Breakfast
Eggs
Sausage
Toast
Fried potatoes
Late lunch
Cheese burger
Beans
Snack mix with white chocolate (this stuff was created by Satan...I am just sure of it!)
Snack
Granola bar
Whew!
Exercise/Training
Does the trek through the big box store to buy all the above crap count? Didn't think so.
GMMR
Wow. I ate a total of 113 points in two days. That is about twice as many as I was supposed to have. The truth of the matter is, if I had not been thinking of AnnieBFit, I would have eaten more. Too true. So, the good news of all this is, as I stick to the program and eat food that is good for me, move more, drink more h20, and keep on blogging I can't help but succeed! I am also proud of myself for "getting right back on the horse"....you know what I mean? This morning I got up, went to deep water aerobics, had a decent breakfast,snack and lunch. So far so good! I guess it is true what they say in A.A.: one day at a time.
TTFN!
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I have never and will never block out the memories of the past, even though some are painful and/or wrong aka 2 s'mores instead of one. I don't understand people who hide from their past. Every experience good or bad creates the person you are now. KEEP GROWING into the Anne you want to be - the present is never our goal!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Me
Anne,
ReplyDeleteGood for you for getting right back to doing it the way you want to. I copied and pasted some stuff from the Shrink Yourself website that applies to this situation.....looking for the small successes as you start out. just insert "overeating" for "bingeing". As I apply your situation it looks like you're doing great! Hope you find it useful.
And Alex, You are amazing. If I could have had even half of the wisdom you have at your age.....good stuff.
"So, if you're committed to never binging again what are the signs along the way the signify that you're succeeding:
More time between binges (even something small for example, I used to binge every other day and now only do it every third day)
Shorter binges (My binges used to last two days, now they only last an hour)
Binges on smaller amounts of food (I used to eat a gallon of ice-cream, now I eat half a pint)
The ability to stop a binge in the middle (I used to not even realize I was having a binge till it was over, now I can stop myself in the middle)
Forgiving yourself more quickly after a binge ends (I don't talk to myself in a mean way when I binge, I have compassion for myself)
Bouncing back more quickly when a binge happens (in other words recommitting to understanding and stopping your binge pattern)
Understanding what feelings set off the binge (I was able to see that I had the binge after I had a fight with my boss)
The ability to see a binge coming (even if you can't stop it yet)